Comparison is the thief of happiness.
— Laura Williams (quoted in Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection, 2010)
Brown traces how creativity often vanishes as we move from childhood wonder into the world of accomplishment and acquisition. Many of us remember afternoons spent creating for the pure joy of it. Then somewhere along the way a fundamental change occurs where creativity gives way to what she calls “that stifling combination of fitting in and being better than,” also known as comparison.
Comparison is all about conformity and competition: being just like everyone else, but better. When we’re spending enormous energy conforming and competing, there’s little room left for creativity, gratitude, joy, or authenticity. Many of us come to say, “I’m not the creative type,” while thinking, Who has time for that when the real work of achieving and accomplishing needs to be done?
“I’m not very creative” doesn’t work. There’s no such thing as creative people and non-creative people. There are only people who use their creativity and people who don’t. When creativity goes unused, it doesn’t simply disappear. It remains within us, either finding expression or slowly dying from neglect, sometimes breeding resentment and fear in its place.
Whatever we contribute to this world that is truly ours alone will emerge from our creative expression. If we want to make meaning, we need to make art. Cook, write, draw, doodle, paint, scrapbook, take pictures, collage, knit, rebuild an engine, sculpt, dance, decorate, act, sing—it doesn’t matter. As long as we’re creating, we’re cultivating meaning. At its heart, this is about making connections between things that seem unrelated and owning what we’re already doing.
Brown offers three practices: Get Deliberate. If creativity is seen as a luxury, it will never be cultivated; carve out time and make it a priority. Get Inspired. Find and be part of a community of like-spirited people who share our beliefs about creativity. Get Going. Take a class, risk feeling vulnerable and new and imperfect, try something that scares us or something we’ve dreamt about trying.
Letting go of comparison requires constant awareness. It’s so easy to take our eyes off our path to check if others are ahead or behind. But when we stop measuring ourselves against others, when we stop comparing our insides to other people’s outsides, we become free to express what’s uniquely ours. Without comparison, concepts like “ahead” or “behind” or “best” or “worst” lose their meaning.
This connects to the 12 Steps in profound ways. Step Eleven invites us into conscious contact—a creative collaboration with something greater than ourselves. The program reminds us that we are not saints, not perfect, but we can claim spiritual progress. Each person’s recovery is utterly unique, born from their own experiences, strengths, and journey. Our recovery becomes its own form of creativity: building a life one day at a time that didn’t exist before, trusting that the process matters more than the product.
What we offer the world, whether through art, service, presence, or love, cannot be replicated. This work is not about being “good enough.” It’s about being real. And comparison? It’s the thief of that truth—the thief of happiness.
Where in my life am I still comparing myself to others?
What creative impulse have I been ignoring or dismissing as impractical?
What would it mean to create for the sake of creating—not for approval, but for meaning?
Can I trust that what I bring to the world is already original, already enough?
